I gazed directly at the space, for no objects far or near seemed to attract me anymore. I heard no sounds from the window outside, “Do they mock me silently?”- I whispered. Lost in my thoughts, I left the house at 2:30 a.m, too late to find any outlet open, yet too early to find any outlet open.
I was bare feet; I didn’t realize perhaps. Unlike everything else, nature was generous on me: neither hot nor cold. I walked without stopping for an hour or so- to avoid the explosion of random thoughts that didn’t let me sleep that night. I wanted to feel nothing; I wanted to hear nothing. And I thought about those thoughts all the time; thought of trying to avoid those thoughts, and in those thoughts, thought of the thoughts that I desperately wanted to get rid of. I wasn’t really sure of if I was succeedingly avoiding those thoughts or only inviting them to puzzle me more.